The Tim Doctor Show

The Grapes of Wrath

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:02:35 +0000

Do you think God enjoys a good food fight? Heck, yeah!

The Christian camp director who told me wasting food was a sin, when I was 18. Seriously? Camp Fun was the name of the place, I think. :o Beam me up, Scotty.

Grape tossing w/ mini-Docs and the answer to the age old question... would even God do the wang chung tonight?

Family millionaire

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:46:11 +0000

Are you a family millionaire?

Here's to turning those occasional failures into great successes. (6:53)

Is Rush scared of the Tea Party?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:11:25 +0000

The big boys are very afraid of a Tea Party w/out moral conservatism. But that's what the Tea Party Big Top is all about; bringing in all the fiscal conservatives and forgetting about the same tired culture wars. Besides, I'm not interested in hearing about abstinence and drug laws from a closeted-libertarian. (3:22)

It was a good death

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:28:56 +0000

You bet I watched the video of the guy on the luge, and this is what should have been said on tv... (1:29)

Disease World

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:40:29 +0000

Hi and welcome to Disease World! Where kids can frolick and all of your parenting nightmares about ER’s can come true. Caveat Emptor, please sign this legal waver in triplicate.

Do rare, incurable diseases have 36 or 72hr. incubation periods? (3:53)

Who do you trust? - Poll Results & Reactions

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:03:21 +0000

Everyone say hello to c1fed1.federalreserve.org. Big Brother is listening :)

52%-48% in favor of the military. I never said I wanted a coup, by the way. Wasted breath on the frothing at the mouth libs. It was a question concerning perspective. A must hear podcast. (1:26) (link to ranting socialists http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=33933#comments)

Who do you trust more... Big Government, or the U.S. Military?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:42:16 +0000

This is the poll question they will never ask you, because your answer might be the wrong one. That would scare the starch out of Washington, D.C.

I trust our military more. Big Government is assassinating the country. Yes, it’s come to that. What about you? Can you honestly tell me differently? Answer, if you dare... (7:10)

Mr. Absurdly-long-voicemail-instructions-maker

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:41:50 +0000

I can't take it anymore. Please, no more voicemail instruction that you have to listen to for 30 minutes before you can leave a message for a friend. We need some guy logic here. (2:42)

The Jimmy

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:18:14 +0000

Where in the world is Jimmy Carter? He should be hurling furious charges of racism at Massachusetts voters, just like he did to all of you on Sept. 16th!

Jiiimmmy! Jimmmmy? Where are you?

Why won't you come out and play? (2:47)

Kindergarten Barack

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:05:50 +0000

Would you accept a Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing? Would you talk to elemtary school kids through your teleprompter in their classroom? At least all the deficit spending buys me a few laughs.

I wonder what an Obama temper tantrum sounds like? I bet it sounds a lot like this... (3:05)

The Isle of misfit televangelists

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 20:09:14 +0000

Yes, Pat Robertson. I'm sure the devil destroyed Haiti. If it hadn't been him, global warming would have done it in. Right, Danny Glover? If Pat's 2006 prediction of a Tsunami hitting the Pacific Northwest is an indication of his accuracy, he might want to check the batteries in his crystal ball.

What I want to know is, who will be the next big televangelist to implode, like Ted Haggard? Thanks for the memories, Ted :-) You were spectacular.

And now, the contenders for implosion are... (5:29)

The Praetorian Guard

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 19:54:24 +0000

This is the story from Haiti about how the Secret Service threatened to kill U.S. Army soldiers in Operation Uphold Freedom in 1994 when Clinton came to visit. You won't hear it anywhere else.

Will it happen again when Obama visits? I'd put money on it. (3:12)

The stats don't matter, Roger

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 19:49:05 +0000

Mark McGwire laid a big shiny white egg with his lame admission of PED use. Somebody tell Roger Clemens he can steal the spotlight on this one. It's not about your legacy anymore, Roger... It's about being respected as a man. (4:10)

True Love

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:57:42 +0000

What's the scariest thing you've ever said to your wife, or husband? This podcast is about honesty; maybe too much honesty, but it's what we need in our relationships and in our government. (3:40)

Blackness confirmed

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 19:04:09 +0000

I'd like to give a shout out to my home boy Producer and his blender. I also wonder what Harry Reid would look like with some bling, the sideways hat, rappin' it out on the senate floor..

"I say healthcare, you say whoop, whoop.

Healthcare! Whoop Whoop. Healthcare! Whoop Whoop." (2:29)

Double-Bagging Political Correctness

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:35:12 +0000

Why go through all the trouble of a sex change, only to come out looking like Bob Ridowski, from Nowhereville, USA who just decided to throw on a bad wig and go for a drag? And we aren't supposed to notice Obama's appointee?

If I got a sex change... (that's a hell of a way to start any sentence, right?), I would make damn sure I looked like Kelly Preston. Guys, you wouldn't be able to keep your eyes or hands off me! You know, like our wives and girlfriends can't keep their hands off us now. (3:34)

PS. For those of you who don't know what a double bagger is... allow me to introduce you to urbandictionary.com

Granholm rubs the magic lamp

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:01:07 +0000

What 3 things will make Michigan a better place to live? This is the newest game brought to you by NPR: Pretend to ask the voters what they want and then don't listen, and keep plowing ahead with your own absurd dream world. Don't take it seriously, it will only get you pissed. Have some fun with it.

The Queen of Socialism herself, Gov. Granholm of MI, answered and I couldn't stop laughing. Check it out... (2:53)

A World Filled with Government Oompa Loompas

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:42:16 +0000

Anyone dare bet me the Oompa Loompas at the government run TSA couldn't catch the panty bomber on a nudist airline flight?

I'm glad we all agree. (2:15)

Happy New Year. We're going to make 2010 a good one... no matter how bad the Oompa Loompas try to screw things up.

Healthcare under every tree

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:39:45 +0000

What a surprise. What a shocker. Thank goodness for our representative Republic where our leaders know better than we do.

Stop treading on us, you jerkwads. (3:20)

Female Christmas Trees

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:36:41 +0000

...did not know there are male and female Christmas trees.

Seriously, I didn't know. (2:31)

The Three Laws to Understanding Women

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:29:21 +0000

Just a little information biscuit: When I was 16, my brother took me aside after I struck out on a chick and gave me the Three Laws to understanding women.

The third law is the biggest and Tiger Woods knows it well. Yeah, it really is this simple... (3:49)

Mr. Insecure Gay Man

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:23:55 +0000

Do insecure gay people try to act flamingly gay as a cover-up? Enquiring minds want to know.

Or maybe someone who is "media gay" is way different than just "regular gay". Maybe I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. (3:05)

Tiger Woods and The Genetic Buffet Table

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:13:11 +0000

Why have you made Tiger the #1 search term leading traffic to news sites? It's not because you were surprised he was cheating, was it? Nope.

It's #1, because in a heartbeat you would... (3:07)

Global Warming's new clothes

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 08:06:00 +0000

In a Worcester, Massachusetts museum, there's a 550 year old suit of armor with a bullet hole clean through the front breastplate courtesy of a then, new technology called a 'gun'. Global Warming is suffering the same fate. (3:08)

Drive-by Dads

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:56:03 +0000

Are you a Drive-By Dad? I was. There are literally millions of fathers who are angry at life. They've lost jobs, businesses, and maybe even their wives because their anger has spilled over onto them.

If this shoe fits, take it off.

It's never too late and I'll tell you how. Be a hero, not a Drive-by Dad. (7:10)

photo: David Sifry

Salute to psychics

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:44:55 +0000

You get what you pay for, so don't go cheap like this guy.... (4:10)

The stay-at-home-dad question

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:29:52 +0000

Will American kids act much differently in the years to come? I'd wager heavily on 'yes'.

There are now millions of stay-at-home-dads tending the nest, while mom is at work. Will they raise children differently? I do.

How many moms teach their children this...? (3:51)

Barack Obama is magically delicious!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:10:04 +0000

Here he is, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, delivering the Gospel of Barack Obama (who can also fly, by the way).

Brought to you by the Rev. Wright Impersonators union, Local 302. (2:40)

Presidential Booty Envy

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:30:07 +0000

I dedicate this podcast to the Obama worshipper from Clear Channel whom accused me of gay hating in the midst of a debate over the "bow". It's very serious (tongue in cheek).

Below...what started it...take note of the worshipper's two fold tactic; Substitution & Disjunction. When logic is breaking you down, switch over to accusations against a perceived weakness or liability in your opponent, and make the transition so disjunctive and non-cogent that the victim reacts emotionally and vacates their position of logic by squandering valuable resources defending the absurdity. But you have to guess correctly about the chink in the other guy's armor or you look really, really foolish. In this case, Kenny Rogers here, went "all in" on his wager I was a conservative Christian. Oops. Agnostic libertarian who's defended gay's rights to live unpestered, on live radio. Note the professional response by me, crushing his tactics.

Here's the text from Facebook for your enjoyment:

- Obama Worshipper: "hey tim, great point about the state dept and their mandate. i read in the bible too that all homosexuals and adulterers should be stoned to death. i will meet you in the town square....you bring the rocks, we'll follow the mandates"

- Tim: "hey Kenny Rogers, the president bowed and now I want to stone gays in the town square? lol nice one Good sense of humor." (0:59)

Veterans Day. What does a Vet want the most?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:26:25 +0000

It's a tough day for Ward Churchill, Rev Wright and Co. I'm sure they are gnashing their teeth, donning sackcloth and replaying their favorite Obama apologies.

What a vet wants is the same thing I would tell my wife with my last breath. No, it isn't "I love you", you wanker. If nothing else, check out my new Rev. Wright impersonation. Yeah, baby! It's original. (2:38)

One flew over the turban

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:14:12 +0000

This is your government... keep your eyes on the pendant I'm swinging back and forth, please.... repeat after me... "He's just crazy. We must not acknowledge Islam. We must live in multicultural harmony."

Got the freaking picture, folks? Not all of it, you don't. (3:19)

Hey Michigan! Have we got a deal for you!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:52:48 +0000

An op-ed writer for The Grand Rapids Press has a solution for a partial budget fix.

What do you think? Will this help, or hurt, your state? (2:56)

"No condiments on the coffee table."

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:46:51 +0000

What do you think my wife's reaction was when I tried to leave the condiments permanently on the coffee table?

Shouldn't it be a man's right? (2:34)

Nice parents finish last

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:42:15 +0000

Enough was enough. Michelle and I cut off a neighborhood child from playing with our daughter. Was that good parenting, or bad? (7:51)

40 and fading

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:37:36 +0000

A bike, a 40 year old guy painting a room, and a pre-schooler waiting for pick-up.

How fast can he pedal? (2:39)

Parking lot vultures

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:33:33 +0000

You know who you are... always circling the lot looking for a parking spot close to the store... too lazy to just park it and walk an extra 30 paces.

Here's how I torment you. My kung fu is strong. (3:15)

Bumper sticker love

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:24:03 +0000

Bumper stickers are the world's cheapest shrinks; take one look at someone's bumper art and you can tell right where they are at in life.

The one I hate the most, because it's ruining the world, is... (10:35)

How do you spell t-u-r-t-l-e at 1am?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:17:46 +0000

Meet the Man. This is Vitali, the Tiger, who's home was callously invaded in the middle of the night by another animal lover who flunked Mother Nature's way of testing for I.Q.

What in world does this have to do with literacy and women's lack of a sense of humor? (3:42)

Sample Nazi

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:13:58 +0000

What happens in a recession, when million dollar salespeople are now manning the nutcluster sample tables at your local food mart? (2:07)

Male Pattern Blindness (MPB)

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:09:58 +0000

Guys, can't remember the color of her bikini top? Or, can't find the Motrin in the medicine cabinet, or the baked beans in the pantry? It's not your fault. Girls, it's not his fault. It's MPB. (4:20)

Government Oompa Loompas

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:34:52 +0000

The Candy Man
(with the Oompa Loompas from the SEIU)
My thanks to Greg R. for the photoshopping!

Someone just emailed me and asked why I keep playing the Oompa Loompa clip. I thought it was obvious but I play it because... (1:23)

1:22 of National Suicide

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:59:25 +0000

This audio is of our Glorious Leader regurgitating Karl Marx in a 2001 Chicago radio interview. If the state-run-media had played this 1:22 do you think Obama would still have been elected?

This is what we are up against. And if the courts aren't a good artifice for "reparative wealth redistribution", in His Opinion, what might he think is a better method? The Federal Reserve's printing presses, perhaps?

Or better yet, how about a program where all of the nations poor and dispossessed can adopt a taxpayer who will send them benefits directly, and they can send the taxpayer goodwill and encouraging sentiment to help keep them working hard. (1:51)

Invest in Freedom

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:47:36 +0000

Imagine passing on to your children a legacy of freedom, as the Founding Fathers intended. Help the peaceful rebellion grow, so that it will remain a peaceful Republic.

Lead by example, and then put out the call to all patriots: invest your money in freedom while you still can. Wealthy patriots... they're taking your wealth, anyway. You will not find a safe place to hide the fruits of your labor.

It's time to organize. E-mail me here in West Michigan, if you like. tim@timdoctor.com (4:01)

State of Michigan: Don't look for shipwrecks

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:37:22 +0000

I was perusing Michigan's DEQ website and you won't believe what I found; they don't want anyone discovering lost shipwrecks or artifacts.

Only a bureaucrat can say something like this...(number 4 on the web page)

"Permits are not required to search for wrecks. However, we are compelled to remind anyone who looks for undiscovered shipwrecks that by finding wrecks the discoverer exposes them to danger of destruction by careless sport divers and looters. The State has limited resources with which to police and protect already known sites. Shipwreck searchers ought to carefully weigh the value to the public of discovering new wrecks against the adverse consequences of that discovery."

Any problems w/ that? (5:27)

9/17: Groundhog Day in Michigan. Gotta love it!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:10:17 +0000

Groundhog Day

Here in Michigan, it's just like the movie; we wake up every 12 months to the same $billion budget shortfall under Governor Groundhog.

Let's everyone watch to see if the economic winter stays for another 6 years. (3:16)

What white people won't say...

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:50:49 +0000

President Carter is trying to save ObamaCare by charging White America w/ racism. I've had enough.

This is way overdue. I'll say it if no one else will... (10:38)

I knew it...I'm surrounded by assholes

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:40:12 +0000

*Warning: Explicit language intended for the internet only (and too funny not to post! :-))

Van Jones was right, admit it. He's a harmless, lovable little communist prophet, but please don't leave out his fellow Reds on the Left. (1:35)

Obamaranged

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:29:03 +0000

The healthcare debate shows the essence of socialism: expendability of the individual.

And now everyone can see at the end of the road what happens to a person under Obamacare and collectivism. Be careful what you wish for...

Welcome to the Motel Boomerang... it's check in time. (2:30)

Politicians Flee Lie Detector Test

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:02:14 +0000

Body builders packed their bags and ran out of a contest in Belgium when doping officials showed up unannounced.

What would politicians do if we locked them down at the State of the Union address and made them take a lie detector? What would you ask them? No question of a personal nature allowed... business only. (2:49)

Pure Michigan - TEA Party

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:57:17 +0000

People in Michigan are now selling their hair and plasma to make ends meet, but I just couldn't take the shot in my latest podcast. Instead I fired it overhead. This one's a little bit different.

Michigan is my home. (1:02)

"Ma'am, we are the government..."

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:48:05 +0000

Reasons #234 and 235 why we know Big Government sucks cabbage.

#234 The Lady In The Michigan Works Minivan.

#235 The Lady From Medicare.

Classics, both. (2:55)

Secede

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:31:24 +0000

Washington D.C. is the Titanic.

Electing new Reps is like re-arranging the deck chairs. You can't fix a shattered system that protects itself.

The answer is Secession. Pile in a few lifeboat states. (5:46)

The Presidential Weed Run

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:09:48 +0000

That was no photo op flyby for Air Force One...

that was the President going on a weed run. (1:18)

"Yeah, I Crapped My Pants"

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:47:38 +0000

The future of the criminal class is bright. At least the 16 yr old car thief admitted it, which is more than what politicians do. This kid could win elected office w/ this appropriate slogan, "When I crap myself, I admit it." Wouldn't that be refreshing for a change? (2:33)

Clothes Folding Welfare

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:42:16 +0000

Being an American is a state of mind; it means nobody owes you jack! You are independent and self reliant. I have three great stories to show you what I mean, my own household included. (6:41)

Be Perfect... (like Susan Boyle)

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:24:44 +0000

Susan Boyle is perfect, after 47 years. (5:15)

Ho Glo

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:19:34 +0000

What should we call a spray that numbs a guy's manhood so he doesn't pull a one pump Gump? You can't call it PSD502... it's just not sexy. We need options, people... (4:27)

National Suicide

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:03:53 +0000

Obama's plan for "saving" America, in his speech earlier today, is an assasination attempt on the United States. If we permit it, we are committing national suicide.

There is only one answer to the Fed's over-reaching... (2:25)

Before Rick Santelli... There Was Tim Doctor

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:48:57 +0000

Nothing against CNBC's Rick Santelli, but there once was a radio talk show host in Grand Rapids who drove the point home long before the words "tea party" made a resurgence in American politics. That host railed on how the bailouts were rewarding irresponsibility and going to bankrupt our country's future generations... oh wait, that was me on WOOD 1300, back on November 15th, 2008.

This is my specially selected, pre-Tea Party podcast, guaranteed to get your political juices flowing.

WARNING: Do not hit play if you have high blood pressure, are pregnant, or suffer from E.D.. Your blood pressure will rise, labor contractions may begin, and spontaneous public erections have also been experienced. (30:45)

Don't Punch Yourself In The Balls

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:28:06 +0000

Listening to government can be hazardous to your health. Just ask Italy.

Move it along, folks, nothing to see here. Don't pay any attention to the guy who warned you about the coming earthquake two weeks ago. In fact, would somebody please shut him up. (3:53)

Pure Michigan: The Exodus

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 19:31:24 +0000

We know Michigan is gorgeous...

but there is one more thing the apparatchiks in Lansing left out that is also "Pure Michigan". (1:03)

Taxes Are Voluntary???? Huh...?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 19:20:39 +0000

This is why we stop talking w/ elected officials... they turn into morons when you ask simple questions.

It's a great tactic which frustrates people into stopping their full court press.

So, what do you call your Congressman? (3:57)

Who's To Blame?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:24:19 +0000

Who's to blame for an unarmed college kid getting shot in his own apartment by a police drug raid?

Warning: Explicit Language (8:47)

PS. Trigger happy Deputy Fife here also had his police cruiser stolen later in the year.

Those Models Looked Hungry

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:59:41 +0000

My sources in the NYPD tell me it was something else that started the riot, not someone yelling about a bomb... (4:02)

Photo: Zoo Weekly - 7 ft Babezilla Takes On Zoo Man (11/17/09)

My Wife Kicks My Ass @ Rock / Paper / Scissors!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:21:15 +0000

Throw the Law of Averages out the window... my wife owns me in RPS.

"Men rule the world", my ass.... (3:55)

Stuck At Home, Guys? Happy?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:35:26 +0000

I'm throwing down the gauntlet! Do you think men are happy as domestic engineers and stay at home dads? No way in hell! Take it from someone who's been there. The recession has sent home millions of men. Newsweek reported about 4/5 of the 3.6 million layoffs in the last few years have been men. Whereas, women get busy doing house work and taking care of kids and generally enjoying themselves, men turn to the Cartoon Network, the gym and the internet. Oh, and one more problem... wives and girlfriends are no longer sexually attracted to their guys. A study from the Great Depression reported 60% of men complained of their wives being turned off to them. Shhhhh..... there's an elephant in the room! (8:18)

Happy Curvaceous Women

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:43:27 +0000

Want to simplify your life by marrying a content woman? You better know which size gal to look for. Listen and I'll tell you her magic dress size.

Oh, and for each of you waifish model types, here's $10 and a taxi to Old Country Buffet. (1:43)

T.D. Caller Montage

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:33:07 +0000

You help make The Tim Doctor Show great and that's why I'm dedicating this podcast to all of you. (:55)

"We Love The UAW" Song

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:21:21 +0000

The UAW has a $6 million dollar golf course here in Michigan, and one of our callers has been there! Arsenio Hall then somehow channels his character from "Coming To America" through me on air. (1:00)

My Pooch Translation

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:17:45 +0000

I bet you didn't know I'm an amateur dog whisperer. Some have even nicknamed me "the Cesar Millan of West Michigan" - let me demonstrate as I translate dog speak. (:29)

Illinois' Rainbow Punch

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:39:47 +0000

Don't be mad at Jesse Jackson Jr. for trying to buy Barack Obama's old Senate seat, he's just doing business the way his Daddy does. (:45)

Chocolate Mohammed Challenge

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:35:53 +0000

Have India's chickens come home to roost? Here's my take on the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India, then take the Chocolate Mohammed Challenge... if you dare. (5:37)

Sgt Welch: Army Sniper

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:29:00 +0000

MUST HEAR! An interview with Sgt Welch, an Army sniper from Ft. Polk who was LIVE from Baghdad, Iraq. Real life in The War On Terror. (11:43)

How Rush Ripped Me Off

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:26:10 +0000

Proof that Rush Limbaugh, or the EIB staff, monitor The Tim Doctor Show. Hear El Rusbo pus his twist on a humorous bit I had done on-air a week earlier. (3:36)

TD On Fire: Let Them Fail!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:22:52 +0000

Letting loose on the losers who put us in this recession. Listeners and callers couldn't have agreed more. (1:24)

Free Money Printing Presses For All!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:51:46 +0000

Tell me how my humorous example here is any different from what the government is doing right now with the bailouts? Winner gets their economic freedom back. (:46)

Bailout = Economic Slavery

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:42:54 +0000

It's time for the vultures to swoop in and pick over the remains of bad American businesses, not to bail them out. (:38)

My Beer Can Sexism?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:55:19 +0000

Sherry calls in, fired up to defend Sarah Palin from the media. When I make a humorous observation during her call, she flips out on yours truly! This is one of my all-time favorite calls. (:23)