The Tim Doctor Show

I left the station

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 16:20:51 +0000

I have left my old station and am currently enjoying my kids and tinkering on the house. I may get the itch to stretch the pipes soon. This is where I'll put the podcasts.

Tim Doctor

TD on MLive.com: Michigan's Budget Bomb

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 05:25:05 +0000

My first MLive.com column - Michigan's Budget Bomb - hit the virtual newsstand tonight. It comes complete with a mind-numbing visual at the end that you may not be able to shake for some time... picture a Great Lakes version of the Burning Man festival... but don't let that distract you from the message.

DC politicians have punted again. Will we find Thursday that we actually have adults in Lansing? Time to make the hard calls. Spine check.

Reality TV Gets Worse Every Season

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 04 May 2010 20:44:50 +0000

I understand we're in a recession and all... but please. Did Hollywood run out of real actors already?

Public Enemy #1 in Detroit is getting his own psuedo-reality TV show... quite possibly a sign of the apocalypse.

Share From April 3rd radio show (3:17)

Jihad Jane No. 2

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:37:07 +0000

The radical Islamist whack jobs are now coming to America and recruiting our sisters and daughters to join their jihad.

Meet Jamie Paulin-Ramirez, the anti-poster-child for moms everywhere.

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Congressman Hare Doesn't Care

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:18:17 +0000

Congressman Phil Hare (D-IL), doesn't give a rip about that little old piece of paper called The Constitution. Hare also doesn't know much about American History as he demonstrates in this video made by a few of his disgruntled constituents.

Some call videos like this "gotcha journalism". I call it long overdue, and right on the money.

Share From April 3rd radio show (7:08)

Socialist Swimming

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 04 May 2010 18:03:51 +0000

One of the major reasons kids are so dumb nowadays, is that most teachers have to hold the rest of the class back, while they try to assist the few who are further behind. It's the norm in state-run education

But when the P.C., 'we'll all swim together' B.S. enters my kids' swimming practice, that's when parenting becomes a contact sport.

Share From April 3rd radio show (4:15)

Closing Ranks

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 03 May 2010 16:37:35 +0000

United we stand, divided we fall.

It's long overdue that we stop bickering over social issues, and it's time we close ranks and make progress on those issues we all agree on, those that will determine our survival as a nation, such as...

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Fake DJ Names

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:02:57 +0000

What would I be if I used a name, other than my own, when I'm on the radio? A fake? A fraud? Maybe I'd just be... normal.

Since I didn't grow up around radio people or 'in the business', I'm learning the ropes... while occasionally sticking my foot in my mouth along the way.

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Regulation Strangulation

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 03 May 2010 03:57:24 +0000

Power tripping politicians have rigged the game so badly, it's suffocating innovation and businesses... but hey, they love to pick the winners, and have so-called 'accomplishments' to show off to reporters and the cameras.

They claim to be "creating new jobs," when all it is, is a sad shell game with your money.

This is what's really taking place...

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Government Cow Pies

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 02 May 2010 14:26:10 +0000

If you grew up in a rural town like I did, you may be familiar with a lottery type game called "Cow Pie Bingo". For those of you who grew up in a more sophisticated setting, I'll explain:

Cow Pie Bingo is set up by marking out a grid of squares or rectangles on an enclosed pasture. The grid cells are then numbered, and chances are sold on each cell. A cow is then let loose in the pasture, and whatever cell the cow drops his first cow pie in, dermines the winner.

Why does this matter? Because the federal government is playing Cow Pie Bingo with your life and your wealth. The problem is, they didn't like the original odds of the game... so they're dropping cow pies everywhere, and the stench is becoming unbearable.

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A Shot In The Rear

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 01 May 2010 14:43:08 +0000

A priceless story about the opportunity I had to reinforce the basic gun safety rules I had taught my kids, that they obviously hadn't really learned yet.

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Just Suck

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 00:17:35 +0000

This is the only foolproof way to keep from being bothered:

Don't succeed, just suck.

Allow me to elaborate...

Share From March 27th radio show (1:44)

The Last Refuge of Freedom

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 23:55:15 +0000

There may only be one place left to escape soon...

Guys have known about its peaceful solitude for years.

It's where all my best ideas just seem to naturally flow out.

Share From March 27th radio show (1:02)

Backroom Payoffs

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 23:22:04 +0000

Bart Stupak pleads the Fifth with voters and takes an early retirement... and who knows what else he took to sell his vote for healthcare 'reform'.

The corruption is rank... and it's stinking up the whole damn country.

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The Unfairness Doctrine

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 19:14:33 +0000

Now 'Progressive' yakker "Big Eddie" Schultz is finally showing his true colors. For years, the word 'Socialism' was taboo, even among its most ardent supporters. But it seems passage of the national health care bill has given many Utopians the comfort to finally come out and say how they truly feel.

The Fairness Doctrine Ed? 'Controlling the people' Rep Dingell? You'll have to take this microphone from my cold, dead hands.

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Lady Gaga, The Topless Commie

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 05:25:24 +0000

Lady Gaga shows her Lady Tata's on Twitter while giving props to Karl Marx and Communism on her birthday.

Friends, there will never be a shortage of those from Hollywierd with their full idiocy on parade.

Share From March 27th radio show (1:35)

Patriots Unite

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 17:25:15 +0000

I'm looking forward to being with my freedom loving, T.E.A. Partyin' neighbors today.

You do remember what freedom was like... don't you?

For the most comprehensive list of T.E.A. Party events across America, visit:
http://www.teapartypatriots.org/Today.aspx?date=4/15/2010

Granholm Gets Duped

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 10:28:18 +0000

Supposed new green jobs employees: 765

Tax credits given to RASCO: $9.1 million

Economic stimulus RASCO was to provide Flint, MI: $18.5 million

Seeing the look on Granholm's face when she finds out RASCO is a sham company and its founder, Richard Short, lives in a mobile home, and is a convicted felon, after she just trotted him out on stage as a Michigan Green Jobs initiatitve success story: PRICELESS

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West Michigan Secession

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 10:14:48 +0000

Peacefully pulling away to preserve our existence.

I draw the lines of separation and propose my first article for the new West Michigan Constitution.

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Killer Whale Toothbrush

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 09:54:42 +0000

The bureaucrats at Sea World, now noticing that Tilikum The Killer Whale has been involved in the deaths of three people, thought it would be a good idea to upgrade the Orca's dental gear.

Somehow this morphs into a Trekkie moment...

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Who Makes The Best Slave?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 09:33:13 +0000

Think you know the answer to the question?

Your future freedoms, or slavery, depend on it.

Share From March 27th radio show (8:52)

The Redistribution Of Your Life

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 18:16:54 +0000

Time = Money

A great illustration of how the government confiscates your time, by watering down your hard earned dollars.

Share From March 27th radio show (11:24)

My Ode to John McCain

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 05:12:04 +0000

Senor McCain came to mind during coverage of Arizona lawmakers' efforts to maintain some semblance of sovereignty from Mexico.

So I wrote an ode to the Senator. I put a lot of time, and a lot of thought into this... taking into account all that McCain has done for us through his years in D.C.

It comes straight from the heart. Take a listen

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Healthcare Climax: I'm Sick and Tired

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:20:20 +0000

While Congress was casting votes to sell America's solvency and independent spirit down the drain, I was LIVE on 95.3 WBCK with many of you, as we made sense of the healthcare madness.

One common theme prevailed...

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Why Obama Is Good For America

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 17:32:30 +0000

Before the election.

After the election.

Two different stories... heading for one happier ending. Hopefully.

Share From March 20th radio show (1:50)

Government Healthcare Takeover Reality Check

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 17:10:54 +0000

If you think healthcare reform is about you, I'm sorry to be the one to have to break this to you...

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What Did You Expect?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 16:36:57 +0000

Did Obama trick you too?

My neighbor, a small business owner, has openly confessed his Obama Regret to me. In his latest revelation, he realizes D.C. politicians don't give a crap about him and his business, and I just didn't have the heart to say this to him...

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Obama Missed His True Calling

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 16:09:29 +0000

If only Barack Obama had moved to Las Vegas instead of Chicago... There, I think he would likely have found his true calling in the sports gambling industry, and might never have become President! I know, wishful thinking for a safer and less indebted America.

I give any man his credit when and where it's due, and Barack Obama is one of the elite bracketologists in the country.

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Did You Get Your Fair Share?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 13:39:49 +0000

The federal bureaucrats at the U.S. Census office, via a multi-million dollar ad campaign, are encouraging you to fill out your census forms so your community can get its "fair share" of government money. No surprise that D.C. continues to promote the mindset of dependency, dependecy on them.

Seems they've forgotten the way things work... they depend on us. Always have, always will.

PS. If you like this graphic, you can get the bumper sticker at: patriotdepot.com

Share From March 20th radio show (4:44)

No More Gentle

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:51:58 +0000

Congress wasn't gentle when they bent us over for the healthcare cramdown now were they? Our kids deserve better, and we're not going to go gently into the night without making our voices heard.

Now caller Steve has a show he can look forward to on Saturday nights, this one. Glad to be of service.

My parting thought... follow the money. The foreign money.

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So Long Leeches!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:29:31 +0000

The guy in this photo says it with a much better smile than I'd ever give a Utopian who should be cast out from our borders. It's time we cut the fat before it causes a heart attack for America.

If I hear someone claim Socialistic policies are "for the common good" one more time... so help me God.

Share From March 20th radio show (2:14)

Men Are Scum, Women Are Pure and Virtuous

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 21:05:22 +0000

Not so fast... the media, pop culture, N.O.W. and smart-mouthed girls everywhere are quick to extol the shortcomings of men in this "Man's World" they are all forced to live in, while they maintain their status as Angelic beings.

Yes, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and many other men have screwed up, literally... but there's a hidden secret in America that is being uncovered by medical studies that could shake up more than a million families in a major way, where mommy doesn't end up looking quite so innocent.

Share From March 20th radio show (6:17)

The Double Standard on Female Porn

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:56:39 +0000

This is not what you think it is... In fact, this story takes place with a 65ish year old grandmother and the Doctor Family at a local Wendy's.

Where's the beef?!

It's right here.

Share From March 20th radio show (4:47)

The Take Over, The Breaks Over

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:57:39 +0000

This Saturday night (10p-Midnight ET) The Tim Doctor Show debuts on air in Cereal City USA. A special 'Thank you' to Tim Collins, Program Director at News Talk 95.3 WBCK in Battle Creek, MI for making it happen.

The show will also be distributed nationally, beginning July 10th, from 9p-Midnight ET. You too can get the show on air in your city... just click "E-Mail Article" below and forward this article to your local News/Talk radio station Program Director and tell them why you think they should add the Doctor to their Saturday night lineup. For more show info, check out our Programmers & New Affiliates page.

Share FYE, here's the show's demo. (5:18)

Family millionaire

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:46:11 +0000

Are you a family millionaire?

Here's to turning those occasional failures into great successes. (6:53) Share

Is Rush scared of the Tea Party?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:11:25 +0000

The big boys are very afraid of a Tea Party w/out moral conservatism. But that's what the Tea Party Big Top is all about; bringing in all the fiscal conservatives and forgetting about the same tired culture wars. Besides, I'm not interested in hearing about abstinence and drug laws from a closeted-libertarian. (3:22) Share

It was a good death

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:28:56 +0000

You bet I watched the video of the guy on the luge, and this is what should have been said on tv... (1:29) Share

Disease World

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:40:29 +0000

Hi and welcome to Disease World! Where kids can frolick and all of your parenting nightmares about ER’s can come true. Caveat Emptor, please sign this legal waver in triplicate.

Do rare, incurable diseases have 36 or 72 hour incubation periods? (3:53) Share

Who do you trust? - Poll Results & Reactions

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:03:21 +0000

Everyone say hello to c1fed1.federalreserve.org. Big Brother is listening :)

52%-48% in favor of the military. I never said I wanted a coup, by the way. Wasted breath on the frothing at the mouth libs. It was a question concerning perspective. A must hear podcast. (1:26) Share

(link to ranting socialists http://www.balloon-juice.com/?p=33933#comments)

Who do you trust more... Big Government, or the U.S. Military?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:42:16 +0000

This is the poll question they will never ask you, because your answer might be the wrong one. That would scare the starch out of Washington, D.C.

I trust our military more. Big Government is assassinating the country. Yes, it’s come to that. What about you? Can you honestly tell me differently? Answer, if you dare... (7:10) Share

Mr. Absurdly-long-voicemail-instructions-maker

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:41:50 +0000

I can't take it anymore. Please, no more voicemail instruction that you have to listen to for 30 minutes before you can leave a message for a friend. We need some guy logic here. (2:42) Share

The Jimmy

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:18:14 +0000

Where in the world is Jimmy Carter? He should be hurling furious charges of racism at Massachusetts voters, just like he did to all of you on Sept. 16th!

Jiiimmmy! Jimmmmy? Where are you?

Why won't you come out and play? (2:47) Share

Kindergarten Barack

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:05:50 +0000

Would you accept a Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing? Would you talk to elemtary school kids through your teleprompter in their classroom? At least all the deficit spending buys me a few laughs.

I wonder what an Obama temper tantrum sounds like? I bet it sounds a lot like this... (3:05) Share

The Isle of misfit televangelists

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 20:09:14 +0000

Yes, Pat Robertson. I'm sure the devil destroyed Haiti. If it hadn't been him, global warming would have done it in. Right, Danny Glover? If Pat's 2006 prediction of a Tsunami hitting the Pacific Northwest is an indication of his accuracy, he might want to check the batteries in his crystal ball.

What I want to know is, who will be the next big televangelist to implode, like Ted Haggard? Thanks for the memories, Ted :-) You were spectacular.

And now, the contenders for implosion are... (5:29) Share

The Praetorian Guard

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 19:54:24 +0000

This is the story from Haiti about how the Secret Service threatened to kill U.S. Army soldiers in Operation Uphold Freedom in 1994 when Clinton came to visit. You won't hear it anywhere else.

Will it happen again when Obama visits? I'd put money on it. (3:12) Share

The stats don't matter, Roger

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 19:49:05 +0000

Mark McGwire laid a big shiny white egg with his lame admission of PED use. Somebody tell Roger Clemens he can steal the spotlight on this one. It's not about your legacy anymore, Roger... It's about being respected as a man. (4:10) Share

True Love

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:57:42 +0000

What's the scariest thing you've ever said to your wife, or husband? This podcast is about honesty; maybe too much honesty, but it's what we need in our relationships and in our government. (3:40) Share

Blackness confirmed

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 19:04:09 +0000

I'd like to give a shout out to my home boy Producer and his blender. I also wonder what Harry Reid would look like with some bling, the sideways hat, rappin' it out on the senate floor..

"I say healthcare, you say whoop, whoop.

Healthcare! Whoop Whoop. Healthcare! Whoop Whoop." (2:29) Share

Double-Bagging Political Correctness

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:35:12 +0000

Why go through all the trouble of a sex change, only to come out looking like Bob Ridowski, from Nowhereville, USA who just decided to throw on a bad wig and go for a drag? And we aren't supposed to notice Obama's appointee?

If I got a sex change... (that's a hell of a way to start any sentence, right?), I would make damn sure I looked like Kelly Preston. Guys, you wouldn't be able to keep your eyes or hands off me! You know, like our wives and girlfriends can't keep their hands off us now. (3:34) Share

PS. For those of you who don't know what a double bagger is... allow me to introduce you to urbandictionary.com

Granholm rubs the magic lamp

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 15:01:07 +0000

What 3 things will make Michigan a better place to live? This is the newest game brought to you by NPR: Pretend to ask the voters what they want and then don't listen, and keep plowing ahead with your own absurd dream world. Don't take it seriously, it will only get you pissed. Have some fun with it.

The Queen of Socialism herself, Gov. Granholm of MI, answered and I couldn't stop laughing. Check it out... (2:53) Share

A World Filled with Government Oompa Loompas

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:42:16 +0000

Anyone dare bet me the Oompa Loompas at the government run TSA couldn't catch the panty bomber on a nudist airline flight?

I'm glad we all agree. (2:15) Share

Happy New Year. We're going to make 2010 a good one... no matter how bad the Oompa Loompas try to screw things up.

Healthcare under every tree

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:39:45 +0000

What a surprise. What a shocker. Thank goodness for our representative Republic where our leaders know better than we do.

Stop treading on us, you jerkwads. (3:20) Share

Female Christmas Trees

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:36:41 +0000

...did not know there are male and female Christmas trees.

Seriously, I didn't know. (2:31) Share

The Three Laws to Understanding Women

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:29:21 +0000

Just a little information biscuit: When I was 16, my brother took me aside after I struck out on a chick and gave me the Three Laws to understanding women.

The third law is the biggest and Tiger Woods knows it well. Yeah, it really is this simple... (3:49) Share

Mr. Insecure Gay Man

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 06:23:55 +0000

Do insecure gay people try to act flamingly gay as a cover-up? Enquiring minds want to know.

Or maybe someone who is "media gay" is way different than just "regular gay". Maybe I don't have a clue what I'm talking about. (3:05) Share

Global Warming's new clothes

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 08:06:00 +0000

In a Worcester, Massachusetts museum, there's a 550 year old suit of armor with a bullet hole clean through the front breastplate courtesy of a then, new technology called a 'gun'. Global Warming is suffering the same fate. (3:08) Share

Drive-by Dads

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:56:03 +0000

Are you a Drive-By Dad? I was. There are literally millions of fathers who are angry at life. They've lost jobs, businesses, and maybe even their wives because their anger has spilled over onto them.

If this shoe fits, take it off.

It's never too late and I'll tell you how. Be a hero, not a Drive-by Dad. (7:10) Share

photo: David Sifry

Salute to psychics

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:44:55 +0000

You get what you pay for, so don't go cheap like this guy.... (4:10) Share

The stay-at-home-dad question

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:29:52 +0000

Will American kids act much differently in the years to come? I'd wager heavily on 'yes'.

There are now millions of stay-at-home-dads tending the nest, while mom is at work. Will they raise children differently? I do.

How many moms teach their children this...? (3:51) Share

Barack Obama is magically delicious!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 07:10:04 +0000

Here he is, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, delivering the Gospel of Barack Obama (who can also fly, by the way).

Brought to you by the Rev. Wright Impersonators union, Local 302. (2:40) Share

Presidential Booty Envy

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:30:07 +0000

I dedicate this podcast to the Obama worshipper from Clear Channel whom accused me of gay hating in the midst of a debate over the "bow". It's very serious (tongue in cheek).

Below...what started it...take note of the worshipper's two fold tactic; Substitution & Disjunction. When logic is breaking you down, switch over to accusations against a perceived weakness or liability in your opponent, and make the transition so disjunctive and non-cogent that the victim reacts emotionally and vacates their position of logic by squandering valuable resources defending the absurdity. But you have to guess correctly about the chink in the other guy's armor or you look really, really foolish. In this case, Kenny Rogers here, went "all in" on his wager I was a conservative Christian. Oops. Agnostic libertarian who's defended gay's rights to live unpestered, on live radio. Note the professional response by me, crushing his tactics.

Here's the text from Facebook for your enjoyment:

- Obama Worshipper: "hey tim, great point about the state dept and their mandate. i read in the bible too that all homosexuals and adulterers should be stoned to death. i will meet you in the town square....you bring the rocks, we'll follow the mandates"

- Tim: "hey Kenny Rogers, the president bowed and now I want to stone gays in the town square? lol nice one Good sense of humor." (0:59) Share

Veterans Day. What does a Vet want the most?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:26:25 +0000

It's a tough day for Ward Churchill, Rev Wright and Co. I'm sure they are gnashing their teeth, donning sackcloth and replaying their favorite Obama apologies.

What a vet wants is the same thing I would tell my wife with my last breath. No, it isn't "I love you", you wanker. If nothing else, check out my new Rev. Wright impersonation. Yeah, baby! It's original. (2:38) Share

One flew over the turban

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:14:12 +0000

This is your government... keep your eyes on the pendant I'm swinging back and forth, please.... repeat after me... "He's just crazy. We must not acknowledge Islam. We must live in multicultural harmony."

Got the freaking picture, folks? Not all of it, you don't. (3:19) Share

Hey Michigan! Have we got a deal for you!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:52:48 +0000

An op-ed writer for The Grand Rapids Press has a solution for a partial budget fix.

What do you think? Will this help, or hurt, your state? (2:56) Share

"No condiments on the coffee table."

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:46:51 +0000

What do you think my wife's reaction was when I tried to leave the condiments permanently on the coffee table?

Shouldn't it be a man's right? (2:34) Share

Nice parents finish last

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:42:15 +0000

Enough was enough. Michelle and I cut off a neighborhood child from playing with our daughter. Was that good parenting, or bad? (7:51) Share

40 and fading

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:37:36 +0000

A bike, a 40 year old guy painting a room, and a pre-schooler waiting for pick-up.

How fast can he pedal? (2:39) Share

Parking lot vultures

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:33:33 +0000

You know who you are... always circling the lot looking for a parking spot close to the store... too lazy to just park it and walk an extra 30 paces.

Here's how I torment you. My kung fu is strong. (3:15) Share

Bumper sticker love

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:24:03 +0000

Bumper stickers are the world's cheapest shrinks; take one look at someone's bumper art and you can tell right where they are at in life.

The one I hate the most, because it's ruining the world, is... (10:35) Share

How do you spell t-u-r-t-l-e at 1am?

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:17:46 +0000

Meet the Man. This is Vitali, the Tiger, who's home was callously invaded in the middle of the night by another animal lover who flunked Mother Nature's way of testing for I.Q.

What in world does this have to do with literacy and women's lack of a sense of humor? (3:42) Share

Sample Nazi

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:13:58 +0000

What happens in a recession, when million dollar salespeople are now manning the nutcluster sample tables at your local food mart? (2:07) Share

Male Pattern Blindness (MPB)

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:09:58 +0000

Guys, can't remember the color of her bikini top? Or, can't find the Motrin in the medicine cabinet, or the baked beans in the pantry? It's not your fault. Girls, it's not his fault. It's MPB. (4:20) Share

Government Oompa Loompas

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:34:52 +0000

The Candy Man
(with the Oompa Loompas from the SEIU)
My thanks to Greg R. for the photoshopping!

Someone just emailed me and asked why I keep playing the Oompa Loompa clip. I thought it was obvious but I play it because... (1:23) Share

1:22 of National Suicide

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:59:25 +0000

This audio is of our Glorious Leader regurgitating Karl Marx in a 2001 Chicago radio interview. If the state-run-media had played this 1:22 do you think Obama would still have been elected?

This is what we are up against. And if the courts aren't a good artifice for "reparative wealth redistribution", in His Opinion, what might he think is a better method? The Federal Reserve's printing presses, perhaps?

Or better yet, how about a program where all of the nations poor and dispossessed can adopt a taxpayer who will send them benefits directly, and they can send the taxpayer goodwill and encouraging sentiment to help keep them working hard. (1:51) Share

Invest in Freedom

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:47:36 +0000

Imagine passing on to your children a legacy of freedom, as the Founding Fathers intended. Help the peaceful rebellion grow, so that it will remain a peaceful Republic.

Lead by example, and then put out the call to all patriots: invest your money in freedom while you still can. Wealthy patriots... they're taking your wealth, anyway. You will not find a safe place to hide the fruits of your labor.

It's time to organize. E-mail me here in West Michigan, if you like. tim@timdoctor.com (4:01) Share

State of Michigan: Don't look for shipwrecks

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:37:22 +0000

I was perusing Michigan's DEQ website and you won't believe what I found; they don't want anyone discovering lost shipwrecks or artifacts.

Only a bureaucrat can say something like this...(number 4 on the web page)

"Permits are not required to search for wrecks. However, we are compelled to remind anyone who looks for undiscovered shipwrecks that by finding wrecks the discoverer exposes them to danger of destruction by careless sport divers and looters. The State has limited resources with which to police and protect already known sites. Shipwreck searchers ought to carefully weigh the value to the public of discovering new wrecks against the adverse consequences of that discovery."

Any problems w/ that? (5:27) Share

9/17: Groundhog Day in Michigan. Gotta love it!

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:10:17 +0000

Groundhog Day

Here in Michigan, it's just like the movie; we wake up every 12 months to the same $billion budget shortfall under Governor Groundhog.

Let's everyone watch to see if the economic winter stays for another 6 years. (3:16) Share

What white people won't say...

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:50:49 +0000

President Carter is trying to save ObamaCare by charging White America w/ racism. I've had enough.

This is way overdue. I'll say it if no one else will... (10:38) Share

I knew it...I'm surrounded by assholes

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:40:12 +0000

*Warning: Explicit language intended for the internet only (and too funny not to post! :-))

Van Jones was right, admit it. He's a harmless, lovable little communist prophet, but please don't leave out his fellow Reds on the Left. (1:35) Share

Obamaranged

tim@timdoctor.com (Tim Doctor) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:29:03 +0000

The healthcare debate shows the essence of socialism: expendability of the individual.

And now everyone can see at the end of the road what happens to a person under Obamacare and collectivism. Be careful what you wish for...

Welcome to the Motel Boomerang... it's check in time. (2:30) Share